Question of the Day on ElderCareMatters.com: "My forty-three year old daughter and her three children moved in with me right before Christmas in my two bedroom apartment. She lost her job and they needed a place to live. She is planning on taking college classes to get a degree, so she can get a good job. I feel sorry for her and can’t put them out on the street, but I’m over seventy years old and this is creating a lot of stress for me. What do you suggest?"

Answer:  One of the biggest stresses I’m hearing now from clients is the stress caused by some of their adult children. Usually it is in the form of “financial aid” to pay the mortgage or something, but your case is about as extreme as I have heard.  I don’t know how you can cope with this situation. 

I don’t have a simple plan to solve your problem because family dynamics are involved that can complicate rational decision making. I usually suggest that the parent get a “business plan” from the child outlining how and when he/she is planning to solve the problem. The “plan” would include dates so progress can be measured. I don’t think just waiting for the economy to recover is the answer. Stress could kill you by then. 

In your daughter’s case, if she is taking three or four years to get a degree, I assume accumulating a lot of debt along the way, hoping to land a wonderful job once she has a degree in hand, I think her “business plan” has a very low chance of being successful. First of all I don’t think you deserve to put up with all of them for four years.  Second, what she needs is an income stream right now, not in four years, maybe.  If she absolutely needs more skills, I suggest a vocational schooling that can have her up and ready to work in a matter of months, not years. And, I suggest she take this training while working whatever job she can find.

To locate elder care experts who are near YOU and can help you with elder care financial matters, go to: www.ElderCareMatters.com – A FREE online source to find elder care experts plus information & answers about a wide range of elder care matters.

Philip C. Benedict, CFP
Benedict Financial Advisors, Inc.
Atlanta, Georgia  30328
770-671-8228
Member of the ElderCare Matters Alliance, Georgia chapter

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